Humor
A Place for jokes.
Coven Rules
Dear Ones:
Every Coven should have some rules that people can look at so they know what sort of conduct is appropriate or inappropriate for members, and
knowing them being helpful to harmony and fellowship within Coven. Here are a few that I am thinking about instituting:
No coven member shall consume their weight in beans before arriving for ritual.
This has happened in the past, and the results can be devastating. It is unpleasant when 32 cubic yards of methane are unexpectedly released into the atmosphere within Circle, and other Coven members begin dropping to the floor unconscious, turning blue, gasping for air and struggling to keep from being overcome by the vapor.
Add to this, the presence of the open flame of the candles on the altar and the quarter candles. Several years ago, the north wall of our altar room was blown clear out when the methane expelled was detonated by the flame of a single candle and the explosion that followed interrupted our rites.
Pants and flying
A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom,
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!"
----- Silence -----
followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier.
While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach yelled, "That s nothing. You should see the back of mine!
Are Fred and Mary up yet?
Fred and Mary get married but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to mom and dads for the night.
In the morning, little Johnny gets up and has his breakfast.
As he is going out of the door to go to school, he asks his mom if Fred and Mary are up yet.
She replies, "No."
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think? "
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think!
Just go to school."
Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
She replies, "No."
Johnny says,"Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "Never mind what you think!
Eat your lunch and go back to school."
After school, he comes home and asks, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"
His mom says, "No."
Johnny asks, "Do you know what I think?"
His mom replies, "OK...OK! What do you think?"
He says, "Well, last night Fred came in for the Vaseline and I think I gave him my airplane glue."
Bad Fireman! - a blond joke
'A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond escape a burning
building by climbing to the roof. The Firemen are
on the street below, holding a blanket for them to
jump into.
The firemen yell to the Brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's
your only chance to survive!"
The Brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen yank the
blanket away... the Brunette slams into the sidewalk
like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!" say the firemen to
the Redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says
the Redhead.
"No! It's Brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with
Redheads!"
"OK" says the Redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The
firemen yank the blanket away, and the lady is
flattened on the pavement like a pancake.
Finally, the Blonde steps to the edge of the roof.
Again, the firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! Yo're just gonna pull the blanket away!"
yelled the Blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the
blanket away!"
"Look," the Blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna
convince me that you're not gonna pull the blanket
away! So what I want you to do is put the blanket
down, and back away from it . . .
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